The other day, quite by accident, I stumbled across the perfect excuse for just about everything. It's a magical phrase that most people don't even seem to question.
Ready for it?
"I'd love to, but I don't have the right shoes."
Think about it.
Bored on a date and want to skip the romantic walk? "I'd love to, but I don't have the right shoes."
Arguing with your spouse about who's turn it is to mow the grass? "I'd love to, but I don't have the right shoes."
Want to get out of driving rainy day carpool? "I'd love to, but I don't have on the right shoes."
Desperately want that other mom to take your kids to the pool so you can stay home in peace? "I'd love to, but I don't have on the right shoes."
In a pinch, it can even work as an excuse to get out of office Christmas parties and other stuffy occasions. Everyone would understand. After all, even Cinderella suffered a temporary social downfall due to inappropriate footwear.
Why is footwear such a good excuse? Perhaps because just about any movement we make is based in how our feet feel when they strike the earth. Footwear is fundamental to function. That's why we always assume the woman shuffling down the sidewalk in house slippers is quite "all there." Her true mental health is irrelevant. If she had on clogs or sandals or hiking boots, we'd assume she was relatively "normal."
That said, I should confess that I own one pair of heels and rarely wear them. I have an athletic shoe for just about every occasion. But that doesn't mean I'll have them on when that invitation to hike into a wilderness area in search of bears comes up. When that happens, I'll gladly say, "I'd love to, but I don't have on the right shoes."
- Betsey
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