The Sick Truth

It's become an annual event. Without fail, between January & February, I come down with stomach flu. We're talking nasty flu. Not getting out of bed unless it's to go back to the bathroom - kind of sick. I dread this, not because it's just gross, but also because I know that I have to completely check out. Though my husband is fully capable, I'm a control freak when it comes to the day-to-day operations. How will they survive without me?

Sometime around 2am Sunday morning it hit. Agonizing cramps, nausea, general yuck. Up, down, up, down, all night. All morning. All day. Hours would slip by as I dozed in and out of deep sleep & trips to the bathroom. Just as I began to turn into a raisin, Ben & Charlie came to the rescue with a tray of relief... tea, water, & most importantly, Imodium. Charlie was joyfully singing "Happy Birthday," thinking this must be a special day... mommy is still in bed! Special indeed. The tea & enthusiasm soothed me a bit, so I went back to sleep.

Later that afternoon I surfaced to the world that had continued on without me. Elaborate forts had been made in every corner of the family room, play-mobile bits everywhere, and the remnants of serious crafting were strewn across tabletops. Food had obviously been prepared & eaten... the kitchen was beyond a mess. But there was a calm about the house. Everyone was busy with various activities, and quietly content. I still felt like crap, pardon the pun, but was happily reminded that the ship doesn't have to go down just because the captain has a case of the crud's. Normally I'd blow a gasket at the chaos. Not this time. I was grateful that life had gone on without me. That my children were well, and my husband was relaxed. It was refreshing as well to play the sick card, and watch them clean up with unusual enthusiasm.

It's Monday morning, and I'm on the mend. Even managed to eat a bowl of oatmeal. Though I wouldn't wish this plague on anyone, I have to admit that there are some bonus' to 24 hour stomach flu... I lost 3 lbs. in one day and am jump-started to losing my Winter "coat." Better still... I know my family can survive just fine without me for at least one day. I find that strangely comforting.

Home Alone with Nothing to DO? Listen to your inner voice...

I had a very strange thing happen to me yesterday. Something that hasn't happened in recent memory. Maybe not even since I was single, all those years ago.

My husband was away at an all day seminar. My mom came and got the kids for a sleepover.

I was alone. In my house. For a whole afternoon.

No, really. I even made the dog go outside.

I understand that this kind of solitude isn't for every woman. In fact, a neighbor of mine recently admitted that she doesn't like being away from her family at all. But in my book, that's just crazy talk. I love my family hugely and fiercely, but even Mama needs a break once in awhile.

Which brings me back to an unsettling discovery I made once all the doors had closed and the house was all mine yesterday: I had NOTHING to do!

Yes, I could have cleaned out my closet or scrubbed down that mystery spot in my son's room or reorganized a sock drawer. But I wasn't so inclined. I could have worked (my usual free-time fallback) but my computer was busy projecting powerpoint presentations at my husband's seminar. I could have read (my other fallback) but I had finished my book the night before.

So with no way to work, and no desire to clean, and nothing to read, I was stuck. What to do?

One friend suggested I treat myself to a homemade spa day. But it was a nice day out — for once free of snow, sunny and not bitingly cold. My dog suggested that I take her for a walk. My conscience said that was a good idea and that I should also tack on some yoga afterward. My house said that I should make a list of all the nagging little projects that needed to be done and maybe even tackle a few of them. (I told the house to f@#k off.)

What to do? What to do?

Thankfully, I listened carefully to my inner voice (okay, voices) and the loudest and clearest message came straight from the SLUTS within. "Call up a friend and go antiquing." So I did. We browsed, we laughed, we dreamed.

Then, we just happened to upon a free wine tasting.

Guess that inner voice was right on.

The Modern "Busy" Signal

Remember when we were kids, and the local radio station would offer free tickets to the hottest concert to caller number (fill in the blank)? We'd frantically grab the phone, and pray for the perfect combination of speed and accuracy to get through. Time after time, our reward was only the busy signal. Even when the latest new technology brought us the "redial" button, still we were thwarted.

Today, I'm back in that place, only it's not a rockin' concert ticket I'm after. It's a slot in summer camp. Yep, it's barely February, there's a foot of snow on the ground, school's out for the day, and instead of doing the work that keeps food on the table, I'm mindlessly hitting the "reload" button in my browser, praying that I'll get the content I seek and not that freaking "service unvailable" message.

Isn't technology fabulous? Not only can I repeat the exact same behavior of my early teens, but I can do it many more times over using just two little muscles in my index finger. Doesn't change that sense of helplessness and growing anxiety though. This time it's not just a night of partying on the line — it's up to three weeks of parental sanity when school's not in session. The technology is faster, but the stakes are much higher.

There is one good aspect to it all, I suppose. Technology also gives me the ability to flaunt my frustration to anyone and everyone who happens to browse across this blog. And because I'm certain I'm not the only parent who in the coming months will be repeatedly poking that "refresh" button  while simultaneously banging my head against the table, I don't feel quite as alone as I did back in the 70s, listening to that ominous, "beep...beep...beep."

Having your camaraderie during this time is ....  Oh, look! I just got through! Gotta go!